Advice on relationships

Melinda Thielbar has written some advice to young women. It’s an excellent article, and excellent advice about doing what’s right for YOU instead of what someone else thinks you should do. I highly recommend it to everyone, whether they are young women, young men, old women, old men, or something in between.

But there’s one line that I would like to dispute, and that is “A relationship with the right person is not work.”

All relationships are work, whether they are romantic relationships or friendships or vendor/client relationships or “other person who uses the same gym that I use” relationships. (That last relationship is called “polite society”, sometimes known by its other name, “not being a complete asswipe.”) The key is finding the balance between the work and the relationship. Pretending that if it’s “right” it’ll be effortless is just setting people up to fail– there will always be differences to work out and compromises to make.